SELOKA SEP ASPURA (2017)
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Assalamulaikum pembuka bicara,
Salam ukhuwwah eratkan pertalian,
Dengar sini ambo mahu berseloka,
Seloa sep aspura yang penuh tawa,
Jangan belek mana-mana terus baca sampai habis.
Aspura nie nama panjang asrama putera,
Tahun ie (2017) ramainya lebih kurang 45 orang
Hah disinilah bursa jejaka hot alaf ini,
semuanya masih belum berpunya,kalau nak pm nombor tepi.
Setiap anak pasti ada ayahnya,
Di aspura abah kami nama Ustaz Nasir,
Dari jarak 90 kaki nampak agak menggerunkan,
Akan tetapi dari jarak 2 depa ternyata orangnya “cool” bersahaja.
Baring sekejap tengok wechat,
Pakai earphone layan jack endoro,
Orangnya encem hidup tanpa kontroversi,
Sapa lagi kalu bukan ketua kita Abg Rauf,
Di musolla asyik sungguh qiraatnya,mendayu-dayu,sampai terlelap dibuatnya,
Bila di asrama,lawak solonya takeover,
Ketawalah,sampai pecah buah pinggang,
Itulah Hafiz,abang sado kita.
Bila bercakap pedas sungguh kata-katanya,
Lagi pedas daripada cili giling,
Tapi dia nie mudah terasa hati,
Siapa ekk?
Itulah Ihsan Hazeeq nama di FB.
Bukak tv tengok citer Hindustan,
Iklan kejap keluar muka Park Bogum,
“smax” sungguh,terpegun dibuatnya,
Smax macam Mr.Nabil kita niey.
Bila masuk Subuh dialah yang azan,
Orang lain?memang taklah sebab masih mamai,
Azan dia niey memang menggema jiwa pagi,
Ahmad Nuruddin nama di i/c.
Bila bersahaja mukanya memang ketat,
Bila dia senyum kita terbahak-bahak,
Walaupun stress memanjang,
Najmi Aqlan seorang yang always happy.
Tengok muka dia biase je,
Tenung muka dia oh...macam teady bear,
Jauh dari Kuala Krai datang menuntut ilmu,
Alif Zikry,ceria macam takde masalah.
Sony dan Apple,
Rambang mata kerana dua-dua hebat,
Azam dan Azim,
Rambang mata kerana dua-dua menawan.
Rehat sebentar layan lagu Pillowtalk,
Lagu Pillowtalk nyanyian Zayn Malik,
Ada buda baru nama Asyraf,
Muka dia iras-iras Zayn Malik.
Di aspura mereka bukanlah kawan rapat,
akan tetapi mereka berdua adalah sepupu,
kalu bercakap melepas manja,
marwan dan Adam yang karok selamba.
Pergi Padang KRT tengok boxing,
Katanya Mat Ropi boxing maley ning,
Tapi nie bukan ditujukan kepada Mat Ropi,
Ditujukan kepada Haiqal,si urat besi.
Duduk berseorangan,paka beat,
Llayan lagu Jiwang lattew,
Bila diasapa terus beraling,
Owh...Adiq Muizz rupanya.
Pergi Cameron bawa monopod,
Selfie,jangan tak selfie.....
Post kat FB beribu yang like,
Adakah itu selfi Alif Irfan kan????
Lepas Maghrib kita mengaji al-quran,
Belum buka Quran lagi terdengar alunan jiwa,
Menusuk kalbu,suara apa tu?
Suara Zikry Hakim,tak pernah ada kahak.
Pergi parit cari ikan puyu,
Bawa balik bela dalam bekas biskut mazola,
Alahai,air dalam bekas selalu kotor,
Takpe,Mursyid bole tukar air.
Muka putih macam orang Korea,
Tapi dia bukan duta bedak kosmetik,
Itulah Adam si putih melepak.
Mereka berdua nie sentiasa bersama,
Almaklumlah Best Friend Forever,
Itulah Fakhrul dan Anwar bebiase.
Nak kata hipster bukan,
Tapi dia ni maka,
Siape tew??
Sorry,rangkap nie tiada nama,hehehe.
Dia ni boleh tahan encem lah,
Dia ni tak minat selfie,
Kalu dapat gambar dia,
Juallah seribu ringgit sekeping,
Gambar Amin Fakri.
Tuannya nampak biase je,
Rupanya sekali seligi tempah maut,
Wi....sapa tak kenal Khairul Nizam.
Ustaz panggil dia Shah Rukh Khan,
Muka dia tu ada iraslah sikit,
Mungkin nama dekat-dekat kot,
Mmm.....Shahrul lattew....
Sebelum ke sekolah pakai pomade,
Pomade dibeli di Kota Bharu,
Ini Haziq sep kitow,
Muka tokleh blah tapi bulih bawa bincang.
Pukul 6 balik dari futsal,
Singgah sebentar makan CPT,
Di jersi tertulis IE-PEIX,
Nama sebenar :Irfan Hamizan.
Kedua-dua ni datang dari Bukit Marak,
Yang memeningkan,
Kedua-dua ni nama Aiman.
Terhidang goreng pisang,
Makanlah sementara panas,
Kalau abe Lehhin kita,
Mainlah smartphone panas-panas.
Ketika Aizuddin disabitkan kesalahan,
Harith lantang membuat pertuduhan,
Lalu Fawwaz membela anak guamnya,
Namun ditenangkan Akmal Hakim.
Hannan datang bawak buku diri,
Joe plak datang bawak diri,
Usman datang bawak tepon,
Sukati koranglah,asalkan pergi PREP.
Main telefon buka MX Player.
Tengok video orang berbeatbox ,
Kelakar dan selamba itulah dia,
Affan Hafiy nama penuhnya.
Bukak tv tonton drama,
Drama “Lelaki Lambaian Syurga”,
Entah apa kaitannya dengan dia,
Harith Uzair,senyuman menggoda.
Berehat sebentar atas katil,
Ralit membelek komik manga,
Abdullah Mubassyiir sahabat kita,
Baca novel grafik itu hobinya.
Dia mungkin bertubuh kecil,
Tapi menjadi kegilaan gadis sunnti,
Sapa tak kenal Ikhram Muazzam,
Kenyit mata mesti ramai masuk meminang.
Form two Aiman dua orang,
Tapi form one Aiman ada tiga orang,
Seorang handsome,seorang kiut,
Seorang lagi gempal,
Setakat nie takde masalah disiplin.
Ketika sedang tulis seloka,
Ilham tak datang di jiwa,
Nak cerita apa pn tak boleh,
Aku kenalkan diorang secara sepontan JELAH.
Iphone 6 kepunyaan Harith Irfan,
Alif Syafiq budak jella,
Ammar budak kecik metta tak abih,
Haziq Harith pemecah kesunyian.
Cita-cita nak pilot,
Sesuai sangat sebab empunya hensem sangat,
Besr nanti diperisterikan dengan gadis berpurdah,
Danish Farhan jejaka idaman.
Buka Facebook ada fried request,
Wah handsomenya teruna nie,
Kacak dan bergaya itulah dia,
Almaklumlah Syahir Darwisy kita ramai peminat.
Sekian sudah alkisah kami,
Kisah tawa ria sepanjang bersama,
Janganlah lapa soho jika dipuji,
Mohon maaf jika terasa hati,
Moga terhibur para pembaca,
Assalamualaikum dan Salam Ukhuwwah pengakhir seloka.
Dalam locker ada baju,
Dalam locker pon ada buku,
Locker kawan kita nie banyak komik,
Ikmal Fahmi,Raja Komik berjaya.
SECTION B:CONTINUOUS WRITING
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Walking down the street alone,tired and exhausted with no places to go.Anna just got kicked out from the apartment that she rented a few hours ago since she was unable to pay off the bills and the rent.Anna shored her hand into her jeans left pocket,just to check if she still got a few dollars left “Great,just great.How am i going to stay alire through out the day with 5 dollars?” she sighed.She continued the walk crossing her fingers to find at least a shelter for her,and a new job .Suddenly she saw a sign that started “Job racancies here.Please contact 014-8214264 further information.”
Anna took out her phne and thank goodness she still has 30% of baterries left.She quickly dialed the number and someone picked up the phone.”Hello I am currently searching for a job.I was wondering,is the offer still available?” she said “Oh yes,it is still available.Please come to this address for interview “ the one who picked up the phone just now said.She gave got onto a cab and wnet there as soon as possible.
Arriring at the place,Anna was saintillated by the building because it was treaking huge and aesthetic.and it was actually a cafe,to be precise.She walked into the cafe and met the owner.Her name was Mrs Emma.She interviewed her and asked her some questions and Anna ended up with a story-telling session about her life with Mrs Emma.And yes, she got accepted and she will start working tomorrow.But the most excitting news that got Anna euphone all day was that she even offered her a place to stay!It was such a bless to meet her.Anna could already tell taht she is a good Somaritan.No doubt at all even though they just met.
She listened to her stories and rice versa.She noticed that our stories had a lot of similanties and sometimes she would even come up with the thought that she was her mother taht left her when she was 15 years old.But she chosed to not think abbout taht.One day,woke up realising her necklace was not there on hev neck.She searched it everywhere,but she still cannot find it.It was the only memory taht she had after she left me.Anna could not afford to lose that.
So she began to cry she sobbed and cried in room,thinking about the necklace.Suddenly Anna heard some knocking on my door.It was Mrs Emma.Anna quickly wiped her tears and plaster a smile.”Oh honey,why are you crying?” she asked.”I am not crying.Mrs Emma.I think the dust got into my eyes just now” Anna replied”Are you looking for this necklace,perhaps?”she took out a necklace from her hand.And yes,it was hers.She nodded and she,out of the blue started to cry.Tears were streaming down her cheeks.Her fair skin tumed red.
She was shocked and did not how to react.Anna slowly pulled her into a hug,asking her if something went wrong.Then,she said “You are my long lost hid,Anna.All this while,the girl I have been looking for B in front of me.YOU are so close to me yet so far.”
Hearing that made my heart beating for awhile.all this time,all of my guesses and thoughts ,they were all true.Mrs Emma was the woman who gave birth to me.After the hangging and crying session,they looked at each other and smiled meaningfully.